A therapeutic cushion!

The short version of this blog post goes like this. Had a crap week, made an awesome cushion that made all the planets align and now I feel awesome {insert picture of totally blissed out Byron Bay earth mother cradling baby here}.

The long version goes like this......

I have had complete and utter life-fail this week. Like, COMPLETE meltdown stuff.

Everything I did sucked. From dropping everything I touched, insomnia, burning food, not having enough milk (and not the normal cow kind either if you get my drift...) panic attack central, somehow tangling the threads on my overlocker (?!?!?!), my blog went into free-fall when I deleted some html, general arguments over stupid things with Hubby and a new found phobia of snakes (well, the old lady over the road did have one in her letterbox so that one is kinda legit). My week has sucked. Big time. And to top it off? Hubby went to a titty bar this afternoon. Noice. Just what these saggy, lifeless boobies need. Some perky 18 year old competition. Even my daughter doesn't want them. Don't even get me started on that (I will most definately cry).

And did I mention that Hubby is a Kiwi and the frikin Rugby World Cup started tonight? Yes, woe is me.

There are other, bigger things that happened too which I won't go into here. But let's just say they are pretty pivotal and life changing. Enough to make me a hormonal nervous wreck. And before you ask, NO I am not pregnant. Ew, definately not. Ew. EW! Like wouldn't I like, have to, you know, do.....that...thing? Nope, definately not pregnant.

So while I was trying to scrape my blog back together (you like? It's all shiny and kinda new!) I found all these other reeeeeaaaalllly cool blogs that are doing exactly what I want to do if I ever get time ever, ever, ever again. Instead of being all cool and composed about it, the green-eyed monster came out and I have been super depressed ever since.

I haven't had the urge, want or need to sew all week. For the first time since MLL started I have no orders for bunting. Instead of being upset about the downturn in business I am breathing a sigh of relief. I can have creative headspace and do what I want for a little while. Which this week involved sleeping at odd hours and teaching myself html coding.

Then this afternoon I decided to finish a cushion I had started a week ago for my Spring range. There were bits here, bits there. I accidentally cut the wrong size peice of fabric 3 times. Yep, fail continues. I was trying to 'meet the market'. What would someone want to buy? Were there too many fabrics on the one cushion? Someone suggested doilies, which I had actually been toying with. Definately. Yep, doilies. But no, that didn't work either. After cutting the wrong size for the 4th time I looked at my ironing board, now totally covered in bits of odd shaped pink fabric. What on earth was the universe trying to tell me? Then I listened to my creative heart. I wanted to make a birdy cushion. I wanted to put ric-rac on it, make it zhooshy and girly. I wanted doilies, frills, roses, birds, shabby sewing, applique and it all had to be on the one cushion.

So I started to stitch. And I realised then that when I let myself go, when I made what I really, honestly wanted to make then I was happy. I played for ages with techniques that I had been meaning to try but didn't have time. Using thick upholstery thread, shabby style applique. I let my imagination run wild and when I realised how happy I was at that exact moment I knew that the cushion I was making I could never sell. At what price is happiness? No, this cushion was for my Minky. To say sorry for being a horrible, miserable Mummy this week. With each snagged thread or wonky seam I didn't care about un-picking it to make it sellable. After all it was for my baby girl, to say 'I love you', and a reminder to myself to be honest to my craft. Because that is what will make me happy in the end. So here it is.

Better go, Sonny Bill just had his shirt ripped off on the field. Poor Sonny......

J xx